Our Story

In August 2013, Brett and I saw each other on the dating app Zoosk. His picture was in front of his white Tahoe, he and the truck were hot! He didn’t believe that was me in my picture. He didn’t believe anyone real was that beautiful! We liked what we saw, but you could only send a wink without subscribing, so I looked him up on Facebook. We talked nonstop for a couple of days before we met. We met at the gas station, the first time I saw him, he was walking out of the store with a box of bud light! It was love at first sight! I knew that this was the only guy for me! I was head over heels! He came over and I cooked chicken bacon ranch pasta for dinner It was way too dry, but that didn’t stop him from eating 3 plate fulls and later he had 2 more plate fulls! He is a very outgoing person, but that night he was so shy! We weren’t really connecting, because we were both shy that night! He says he was going to leave, but I don’t believe that for a second! We got in the hot tub and his face went white as a ghost, he had left his pack of cigarettes in his pocket! He was so mad at himself, so we got out and went to the gas station for a new pack. We came back and got back in the hot tub…and once again he forgot his cigarettes were in his pocket! He was furious! He pulled the whole reaching for his drink to put his arm around me move. Finally when we were watching a movie, I told him he could make his move anytime! Then he kissed me! We were inseparable after that! If we weren’t together, we were texting! We fell in love right from the start! It was scary, but I knew that it was meant to be! About a month after we started dating, he got scared because he had never felt that much about anyone, so he ran away! It broke my heart! About a month later on Halloween, he sent me a message apologizing to me for the way that he had acted, that I didn’t deserve that and that he was sorry. I sent him a message back, but didn’t hear from him again! On Thanksgiving I sent him a message, but again didn’t hear back from him. Turns out, he never got those messages. Brett wanted to get ahold of me and get back together, but he didn’t try because he didn’t think I would give him the time of day! In October I got horribly sick, I went days without getting out of bed! I was going to the doctor every week, they couldn’t figure out what was wrong! Finally on December 17, 2013 they sent me in for a stomach scan. They called about an hour later with the results…I was12-13 weeks pregnant!!! That was not at all what I had expected to hear, I thought that had been ruled out at the very beginning! I got ahold of Brett, he of course didn’t believe me, since we hadn’t seen each other in months! He came around in an hour or two after the shock wore off a little and we decided to get back together and make us work and make a family! It was like we had never been apart, we had never stopped loving each other! The next day I went to the doctor, turns out I was 17 weeks pregnant! I heard the heartbeat and it took away the fear! It was breathtaking! We got to spend Christmas with the loves of our lives! We were happier than we had ever been! 

On December 26, 2013 we found out we were having a boy! No doubt about it, his legs were spread apart for the whole world to see. Brett said oh he has jim dog! On the way home we decided his name would be Jaden Brett Payne. Brett was so happy that his son would have his name and that he would be a Gemini just like us! I moved into his place, but when he worked nights one week a month, I would go back to my parents and stay. We were inseparable!

 On New Year ’s Eve we went out and Brett asked me to marry him! It wasn’t an official proposal, but it meant everything to us! He asked me a many more times unofficially to marry him! We couldn’t wait for Jaden to arrive so we could be a family! 

We were so happy and in love! We wanted to get married, but we wanted to get Jaden here first! We even had our rings picked out and everything! We weren’t officially married and officially a family, but to us, we were! We were even talking about having another baby, hopefully a girl, in a couple of years. Brett was working with his mom to get us into a house, instead of wasting money on renting. I remember walking through the house and they had the saying Families are Forever, Brett loved that and said we would always keep that sign up in our home, because we would always be together! We talked about turning our lives around and getting back into the church and being sealed as a family, he said he wanted to be with me forever! Brett was so kind hearted and always looking out for me and making sure that I was well taken care of. He went out for a beer run and came back with cookies and cream ice cream for me, since I had been craving it! He didn’t have a lot, but he would give you what he had! He loved the cute little signs I gave him on holidays, like the candy bar poster I made for Valentine’s day and others like “I love everything you dew” and “I am so lucky to be in love with you!” We were getting so nervous and excited for Jaden to get here! Brett had really stepped up! He was a changed man, a family man! His friends say that I roped him in and changed him for the better! He had really matured and was excited about our future! Brett is my sweetheart, the only one for me and forever the love of my life! 

On Friday March 21, 2014 at 7 months pregnant, we finally got to see what Jaden looked like in our 3D ultrasound. He would only show us one side of his face, but oh was he a cutie! He had his Daddy’s nose and his Mommy’s lips. Brett said he was a hero, because he made it to the ultrasound! And he was! We didn’t get much sleep Wednesday night and then he started his week of graveyard shifts on Thursday night. He was so tired, but he made it! That meant so much to me for him to be there when I knew he just wanted to go to sleep. I gave Brett a hug and a kiss and told him I loved him, like I always do, and sent him off. On his way home, Brett fell asleep, his Tahoe rolled and Brett died from his internal injuries on the way to the hospital. We didn’t have much time together, but Brett is my forever! I moved back in with my parents who are amazing and we started to prepare for a life that we never imagined would be like this! Never in a million years, would I have ever imagined that I would be a widowed Mommy with my sweetheart as our guardian angel watching over us and I certainly never imagined giving birth to our son without Brett there! My mom was amazing she was with me all through the labor and delivery! 

On May 22, 2014 2 months and 1 day after I had lost everything, after 33 hours of labor and a C-section, our miracle, Jaden Brett Payne was sent straight from his Daddy’s arms in Heaven to my arms! Although Brett was not there physically, he was there in spirit! Holding me and letting me know of his love! They really had to tug to get Jaden out, he didn’t want to leave his Daddy! My mom was the first to hold Jaden, she put his face next to mine and he just stared at me as if I was his whole world, his everything. And I knew that was Brett telling me that he is here with us always and that everything would be ok. He looked just like his Daddy! What a healing miracle this bundle of joy is to me! Jaden gives me the strength to keeping going each and every day! I never thought I could ever be happy again, but Jaden makes me so happy! He keeps me laughing and smiling on the worst of days! Brett and Jaden are the loves of my life! I am trying to be the best Mommy that I possibly can be, but it’s very difficult doing it without his Daddy here! Jaden is a daily reminder of his Daddy, he looks and acts just like him! He gets a huge smile on his face when he sees his Daddy’s pictures and hears stories about him. I am raising Jaden in the LDS church, because I want him to know that his Daddy is always with us in spirit and that someday we will all be together forever as an eternal family.